Okay, we need to talk…
July 14, 2007
Gartholomew-Bertrand the Third!!!
HOW many times must I remind you that your water bowl is ALL you are to be drinking out of in this household! That’s why it has your name on it, okay? And might I remind you how hard it was to find a cat bowl with that name on it? I leave the room for ten minutes, and what do I find when I get back? Well…you’ve tampered with my cabinets and helped yourself to my goods yet again…it’s just so typical! This is the last time I let you slide before I have to contact the pet shelter and let them know you’ve slid back into your old habits…you know it’s what got you there in the first place. I mean, who has time to deal with a intoxicated, thief of a cat like yourself? It’s almost kind of pathetic how bad you are at covering your tracks, I don’t think filling half empty bottles back up with purple Sportz Dew© is going to in any way hide your consumption. Your previous owners were on to something I think…I work too hard for my wages at the Mini Plastic Pizza Table Plant to have to buy all new stocks of wine and cheese every other day! These kind of luxuries are not grown on trees you know! I have to BUY them from the Grown Entrees Market! I’d rather be spending my cash on things like foot powder and mustache viscosity enabler…you know, important things! Yeah…I don’t really think buying things is really something you’ve learned how to do yet…and don’t smirk at me…I don’t know where my other shoe is…BIG DEAL! I have something serious to talk to you about here that does not even involve shoe discussion on any level, so I think we can all just be mature here. Now come over here and help me take this cork screw out of my toe.
