Grant Gilliland

Heads, fingers, candy, etc…important stuff.

There better be some Sanka in that, boy!

Gross Uncle and loving child. Quickie heads. Park fun. Links for today!http://www.rdomm.com/http://www.lovelifebags.com/staging/FF/main.htmlhttp://nickciske.com/tools/binary.php

John at grad school, 1996.

Hey could you speak up a bit Larry, I can’t hear you over the motor on this massage machine!

My friend Boris left his tech support job in March to pursue his dream of being a plus-sized puppy wear model.

The first day of school.

Tuesday smells of wet dog and Purina chow. Also, I spotted this fellow a couple of days ago. He was sitting in a coffee shop on 24th and Folsom across from a girl most likely half his age. He kept gesturing and raising his voice at her, and when I was close enough to hear [...]

Mom and Pop were swallowed alive by a whale two years ago. Sometimes they send me letters, but I have no idea where to mail my responses.

I met Eddy Fingerton on a road trip to Canada at a Wisconsin truck stop while buying a souvenir coffee mug. Eddy, who was ahead of me in the checkout line, was arguing with the woman behind the register about the ten cent price increase on a bag of Brach’s circus peanut candies. Fingerton made [...]

We were never really sure what Saul kept in the jar, all we know is we would periodically catch him opening the lid and arguing in Spanish with whatever was inside. Once I was pretty sure he passed whatever was inside a signed contract and then lit a cigarette and threw it inside, winking. He [...]

Our neighbors have a cat named Randolph Mullins who runs a nationally syndicated radio program (programme) that plays every morning at 4:45am on NPR. Topics include: -Puking up grass and then eating it again-Mutilating mice, moles, and shrews-Rush Limbaugh-Cuban cigars-How to make little protective helmets out of old tin cans and/or orange peels-Places in the [...]

While dining at “LeDubose” (pronounced La Doo-bwaa), Walter realized that he had misplaced his wallet. Unwilling to leave for fear of losing his choice table, he he thought of several ways that he could stay and enjoy his meal at the fine establishment which did not involve any legitimate currency. 1.) Fake a seizure after [...]

My cat and I met on a park bench one sunny afternoon in July. I heard T-Rex coming from his headphones, and I knew we’d be friends for life. I am still pretty mad at him for stealing my girlfriend, but if I want our band to succeed, I can’t just kick him out because [...]

Suddenly, the film was no longer of interest to father.

So what’s your name? Yeah…I go to school around here, it’s great. Oh, him? Yeah, he’s mine, his name is Rizzo…I picked him up at the SPCA yesterday, you know. He just loves his walkies in this park here. Hey, do you want to see my new van? Oh it’s cool, maybe later then or [...]

Billmur just hasn’t been the same since Ma ran away with the Gypsies and left behind all the cats.

And now a word from the author… “I spilled mustard on my trousers this afternoon in a small spat with the water wench at a Denny’s…Therefore, I found it in my best interest to sit for this portrait sketch without them. It was a Thursday.”-Oliver “Yellowpants” Stainsworthy, 2006.

Uncle Vincent at the Labor Day barbeque, moments from hearing his new flick “Supermarket Ninjas” was going to be produced. I felt pretty bad about hitting him with the frisbee, especially since when it hit him, he spurted out a sexist remark and then faced our cat into the ranch dip while still on the [...]